is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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