mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
