Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize