The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
