one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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