if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to make out with him forever
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
