We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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