Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
