the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
