No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
