Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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