You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
