BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
