just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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