idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
