Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
