i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What drink are we having for lunch?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
