Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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