Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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