I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
