I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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