pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need water and some morals
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
