I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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