So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
