I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
