i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
