She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
