we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
