Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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