But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
