In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
