So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
