The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
