I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
