nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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