He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
