i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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