is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
