Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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