Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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