I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
