I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
