How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
