So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
