does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
