Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
