Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
