I'm so fucking centered right now
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
