I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
