i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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