you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
