You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
